SAFE

Two inmates have escaped from Angola but Ron’s father tells Ron’s wife not to worry, he keeps eighty-five loaded weapons right here in the house, so even if the convicts do head for Mobile, they’ll be safe. Eighty-five loaded weapons? Ron’s wife repeats, and she glares at Ron and grabs their little boy’s hand and starts to march straight back to the car.  Ron’s father says, Oh hell then, I’ll lock the damn guns up and he does, and they have catfish for supper and look at family photos and sing at the piano, and just before they fall asleep in his old bedroom, Ron says to his wife, See darling, it’s all right, he’s just an old man, he doesn’t mean any harm. But when their little boy gets up for a drink of water at midnight and sees his grandfather crouched behind the couch with a pistol aimed at the front door, he screams and wakes everyone up.  It’s just a nine-millimeter, Ron’s father protests, look, it couldn’t hurt a fly.  As they are hurriedly dragging their suitcase out to the car, the radio announces that the escapees have been caught four miles from the prison, but Ron’s father knows that’s not the end of it, not by a long shot. He bends to hug his grandson goodbye. When they come for you, he whispers, aim for the left knee, and if you can’t, go for the gut.