
Blackberry Pie
Cora couldn’t explain why she was baking a blackberry pie at three in the morning, even though she hated blackberry pie. She couldn’t explain why she dug into every cardboard box, searching for all her kitchen tools. She couldn’t explain why she tossed everything else aside, leaving the apartment a devastating mess.
Maybe because she’d just moved in a week ago.
Maybe because her mom unexpectedly passed a few days later.
Maybe because she’d spent all day planning her estranged mom’s funeral, because her dad was hysterical from the pain.
Maybe it was all of the above.
Cora couldn’t explain why she’d spent the last two hours looking for her mom’s old handwritten cookbook, frantically tearing through every box in a grief-fueled rage. She couldn’t explain why she’d never thrown it out, even though she hadn’t used it in almost a decade. She couldn’t explain why she kept it, even when her mom cut ties with her after Cora finally had the courage to come out.
Maybe because she couldn’t remember if the little hardcover notebook had a pink or red rose on the front.
Maybe because when she’d called all her mom’s contacts to notify them, she’d barely recognized half the names.
Maybe because she needed to ensure that page twenty-two wasn’t all made up in her head.
Maybe it was all of the above.
Cora couldn’t explain why her eyes welled up with tears when she found the cookbook at the bottom of the very last box. She couldn’t explain why her heart broke to see the cover stained and scratched, the pages stuck together and torn.
Maybe because it was the only thing she had left of her.
Maybe because of all the strangers who told her how blessed they were to know her mom.
Maybe because all her dad’s efforts to reunite them had gone to waste.
Maybe it was all of the above.
Cora couldn’t explain why she made the pie with the utmost care – carefully measuring each ingredient and following the recipe word for word. She couldn’t explain why she made the crust from scratch and checked every berry for imperfections. She couldn’t explain why she painstakingly latticed the dough on top, adjusting until it was absolutely perfect.
Maybe because page twenty-two had Cora’s Favorite – Mom’s Blackberry Pie written at the top in her mom’s beautiful cursive.
Maybe because, as the pie baked, she realized that not all their memories were painful ones.
Maybe because she remembered early mornings waking up to blueberry pancakes and late nights licking the brownie spoon.
Maybe because she never picked up any of her mom’s calls that had started coming in just last month.
Maybe it was all of the above.
Cora couldn’t explain why she watched the sun rise as she waited for the pie to cool. She couldn’t explain why her vision blurred when she realized it looked just like her mom’s in the golden morning glow. She couldn’t explain why she began to sob after taking the first bite.
Maybe because it was so delicious – tart, gooey, and warm.
Maybe because, long ago, she used to call her mom her best friend.
Maybe because she feared her mom had died, wondering if she still loved her.
Maybe because she never got the chance to tell she did.
Maybe because she realized her mom never stopped loving her either.
Maybe it was all of the above.
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